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step up Definitely a step up after the so-so "Rumble Tumble." I urge first-time Lansdale readers to start with "Mucho Mojo," still by far the best of the Hap & Leonard books. What the "R." stand for... What does the "R." in Joe R. Lansdale stand for? I've been reading this phenomenal East Texas writer for almost fifteen years now, and I still don't know. I suppose I could click the mouse a few times and get right back to you with the real answer, the right answer. But where's the fun in that? Isn't it better to imagine than it is to know? Back when I was a kid, when only dead flies were on the web, you didn't have any choice but to imagine. So here goes... After reading Joe R. Lansdale's sixth Hap 'n' Leonard novel, "Captains Outrageous," I'd guess the R. might stand for refreshingly-readable (sounds like something made by the Keebler elves). Then again, it could just as easily stand for rip-roarin'ly-raunchy or rhapsodically-R-rated. What I'm getting at is that reading a Joe R. Lansdale novel is like going river-rafting through the rapids or roller-skating on the roof. You're in for a wild ride whenever you pick up a Lansdale book, so you better make sure your seatbelt is good and fastened. "Captains Outrageous" is maybe the wildest-plotted yet of the six novels comprising Lansdale's East Texas series starring Hap Collins and Leonard Pine. Hap and Leonard are two well-meaning ne'er-do-wells living in the small East Texas town of LaBorde. Hap is white and straight, Leonard black and gay, but they're the fastest of friends-brothers without the burden of family. And yet, for some reason, whenever they get together, trouble is never far behind. This time out, Hap seems to have some good luck shine on him for once. While leaving his job as a security guard at a chicken plant one night, the martial-arts-savvy Hap successfully interrupts a rape/murder-in-progress. The would-be victim's father is well-to-do and insists on Hap accepting a ... reward for his chivalry. With some money in the bank, eager for some time away from the chickens, Hap decides to take a vacation. And who better to ask along than his best friend Leonard? Hap's good luck begins to sour somewhere around the time he and Leonard get on the bad side of their budget cruise ship's buffet bouncer. They soon find themselves stranded somewhere in Mexico with no way to get home. Things get considerably more complicated after they're nearly murdered and then rescued by a machete-wielding fisherman and his bad news femme-fatale daughter. Hap 'n' Leonard then get themselves embroiled in the dealings of a dangerous Mexican mobster who also happens to be a staunch nudist. The wildness of plot and fierceness of humor that have become hallmarks of Lansdale's writing are out in full force in Captains Outrageous. Equally prevalent are the attention to character and richness of voice that keep Lansdale's books a few notches up from being merely entertaining (not that that's the worst of crimes). Lansdale has always reminded me something of Mark Twain. Throw in bits and pieces of an old "Love Boat," some Hemingway à la "Old Man and the Sea," and you have an idea of what to expect from "Captains Outrageous." My only complaint is that the second half of the novel isn't nearly as inventive as the first. There's a restrictive symmetry to the book's revenge plot that makes the story arc more of a parabola than an ascending staircase. Still, "Captains Outrageous" is an immensely entertaining read. It's wildly funny, consistently well written, and deserves to earn Joe R. Lansdale new legions of fans. You don't have to have read any of Lansdale's earlier Hap 'n' Leonard novels to enjoy this one, but you'll definitely want to get caught up afterward. So if you happen to like your books entertaining and well written, you'd be remiss to miss out on this rare and rewarding writer. HAP HAZARD Poor Hap Collins and Leonard Pine...no matter what they do, they always come out involved in a messy, stinky situation. Once again, Joe Lansdale's "amateur" sleuths find themselves embroiled in murder and mayhem, and it all starts with a good deed. At his new job at the chicken factory, security guard Hap prevents the murder of a wealthy young woman by a crazed maniac. Her millionaire father shows his appreciation by giving Hap a check for a hundred thousand dollars. Leonard, now with his new love John, tells Hap they should go on a cruise..no real reason, just that they've never been on one before. Needless to say, this vacation turns into a nightmare when Leonard mouths off at the concierge and they find themselves stranded in a little fishing town. Enter a beautiful woman, her poor father, some wealthy tourists and we begin our tale of murder and deceit. Lansdale continues his gift for natural dialogue and unique, but believable, situations. We meet a crime lord and his seven foot bully, Hammerhead. It seems sometimes that Lansdale can be a little cruel in his treatment of some of his subordinate characters (Billy for example), and he tends to overdo the sexual innuendo and the sexual encounters. But it's a man's world, and Lansdale knows it. At least the lovely if foul mouthed Brett Sawyer is back, and by the end of the book, who knows..wedding bells? A fine entry in this well executed series. At It Again!! Hap Collins and Leonard Pine are best buddies who get into more trouble in this book than you would ever think possible. They are working as security guards for a chicken-processing plant, when Hap saves the life of a young woman who turns out to be the plant owner's daughter. As a reward, Hap receives a check and a Caribbean cruise. Of course, he takes along his best East Texas buddy, Leonard. Now the action begins when Hap and Leonard are left stranded in a small port, get mugged, saved by an old-fisherman, and quickly become involved in a plot that includes murder and revenge. What's going to happen to Hap and Leonard? How are they possibly going to get out of this predicament? In this book, as well as the other books in this series about Hap and Leonard, there is plenty of humor, and lots of action for these likable guys. This series just gets better and better with each new installment. A terrific book that's filled with lots of twists and unexpected turns that will entertain you. Here's looking forward to the next adventure of these crazy guys. Joe Hanssen As outrageous as the lobster with a cigar Captains Outrageous is the sixth book of Lansdale's Hap and Leonard novels. For those of you unfamiliar with the series, let me try to acquaint with the dynamic duo. Hap Collins is a straight white liberal who served time in prison for draft evasion during the Vietnam War. Ever since then, he has had trouble holding down steady jobs and relationships. But refreshingly, he doesn't blame society, the government, or his parents for the way his life turned out. He blames himself. Leonard Pine is a gay black Republican and a Vietnam veteran with a wisecrack for every occasion. He loves country music and burning down crack houses (not really caring if anyone is inside of one at the time). Wherever these two are, trouble isn't too far behind. Captains Outrageous begins with Hap and Leonard both being employed at a chicken processing plant as security guards. After clocking out for the night, Hap rescues a young lady who is beaten brutally by a drug-crazed sicko. The lady's father is a very wealthy man who owns the plant that Hap and Leonard work at. Out of gratitude, the father gives Hap a month off and $100,000 to boot. Hap and Leonard, as suggested by Leonard's boyfriend John, go on a cruise. After suffering through a bad case of sea sickness, really bad food, and really really bad Kevin Costner movies; Hap and Leonard find themselves stranded in Mexico after an arrogant restaurant host deliberately tells them the wrong time to come back to the boat when it makes a brief stop at land. And this is where the story really starts. I don't like giving away to much along the way, but I will say that Hap and Leonard run into some interesting situations and characters along the way. There's a 70 year old machete wielding fisherman who saves them from a trio of corrupt cops. There's the fisherman's manipulative daughter. There's Billy, a tough-talking punk who gets put in his place. And there's Juan Miguel, a nudist crimelord with a (6'8" 385 pound) musclebound assassin named Hammerhead, who is also a nudist. Once our friends leave Mexico to return to the States, trouble follows them yet again. I've been reading the Hap and Leonard books since early 1995, and I've found the series to be one of the most consistent and entertaining going today. Underneath all the violence and extremely foul language, you see Lansdale's love for people and true sense of right and wrong that really makes Hap and Leonard easy to root for. And not to mention there's the humor that is not for the politically correct or the easily offended. For instance, one of the funniest parts of the book is at a funeral (I won't reveal who died). The eulogy literally had me crying with laughter. That's Lansdale for you - funny, shocking, brutal, profane, but definitely human. And a fine writing one at that. See also:
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