The Burden of Sympathy: How Families Cope With Mental ...

At last, someone who understands what it's like.:
Reading this book was such a relief. Dealing with a mentally ill family member is so hard to explain to someone who doesn't share the experience. People would tell me, "You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders." I just couldn't find the words to express what it was like to care for a family member who was severely depressed and psychotic until I read this book. Rereading it helped me see that it was not only OK but necessary to set boundaries to preserve my own mental health. Fortunately for my family, once I set boundaries, things changed dramatically for the better. The ill person in my family saw that I was serious about maintaining my own boundaries and actually started to get better. I realize that we might be the exception, and not the rule. I recommend this book highly, as it provides deep insight and a bit of comfort to those who are grappling with the devastating financial, physical, and emotional effects of caring for a mentally ill family member.

an amazing book:
This is the first book I've read that describes my experiences of living with mentally ill family members so precisely. It is a must read for anyone living with or caring for a mentally ill loved one. David Karp has tapped into a secret well of pain and love and compassion that needs to be brought to the collective consciousness of our society.

Truthful:
The Burden of Sympathy is an essential book for those with mentally ill family members, and even the ill themselves. I have learned so much about the similarities in care taking difficulties, and feel I understand more why I feel compelled to care, and when it's ok to let go. A must for anyone dealing with illness.

A Helpful Guide:
Sociologist David Karp shares the insights gleaned from over 60 interviews of those who have loved ones suffering from the ravages of mental illness. He pieces together excerpts of these interviews to illustrate the different ways mental illness affects the lives of families and friends. Those interviewed share how they attempt to cope with such issues as personal feelings of guilt, the societal stygma associated with mental illness, and the frustration of dealing with a bureaucracy that is not always responsive. At the core of many of the interviews is a redeeming theme of hope. Karp's thesis is that the moral boundaries of caregiving necessarily shift as the mental illness emerges over time, and that it is imperative to balance the needs of the mentally ill person with the needs of those who provide care and support. Karp reminds readers of the 4 C's: (1) I did not cause it, (2) I cannot cure it, (3) I cannot control it, (4) all I can do is cope with it.

Well Done:
If you're looking to understand how to think about a friend or a loved one with major drug resistant depression or other mental health issues, you should read and refer to this work often. It provides insight on how to help with an appropriate outlook and attitude. Nicely done.